I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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