maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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