i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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