My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
