Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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