it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
