I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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