i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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