Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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