ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
my penis made a compromise with my morals
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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