I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
