I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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