I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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