What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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