We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
