Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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