she was so not down for the gang bang
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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