Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
