Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
