Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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