believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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