You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
