This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
