I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
