On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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