is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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