I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize