Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize