i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize