I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
