two words...techno handjob
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
