I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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