you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
