I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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