Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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