Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
