I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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