Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
