Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
