She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Michael Bay diarrhea
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
