I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
