I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
