Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
