so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
