addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
