you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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