I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
