Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so let's talk penis.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
