Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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