roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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