do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
