your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize