we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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