I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
