Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I want to be your penis for a week.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
