well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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