you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
