Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
