Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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