Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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